


The Sanders' Christmas Bake

by Very_Anxious_Bean



Series: The Sides as Roommates [11]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Baking, Chaotic Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Christmas Cookies, Christmas Fluff, Christmas baking, Coffee, Cookies, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders Are Siblings, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders Are Twins, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders is Extra, Deceit Sanders Has a Different Name, Disasters, Everything is Beautiful and Nothing Hurts, Family Fluff, Fluff, Gen, Happy, Human Sides (Sanders Sides), Licking, M/M, Minor Injuries, No Angst, No Plot/Plotless, No Smut, Nothing Hurts, Remus Sanders Being Himself, Roommates, Siblings, Sleep | Remy Sanders-centric, Sort Of, Swearing, Twins
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-25
Updated: 2019-12-25
Packaged: 2021-02-26 11:54:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21968890
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Very_Anxious_Bean/pseuds/Very_Anxious_Bean
Summary: The family bakes for Christmas!
Relationships: Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders & Deceit Sanders, Dr. Emile Picani/Sleep | Remy Sanders, Logic | Logan Sanders & Morality | Patton Sanders, Sleep | Remy Sanders & Everyone
Series: The Sides as Roommates [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1428004
Comments: 6
Kudos: 66





	The Sanders' Christmas Bake

**Author's Note:**

> Remus talks about shoving a wooden spoon up Eden's (Deceit) ass but he wouldn't actually do it. He and Eden just have those moments, so ye

“I don’t know how to cook, babes. So, no, I won’t be coming over.” 

Patton pouted. “We're baking, there's a difference- but I can help you out, kiddo! Don’t you want to bake with the family and me?” 

Remy looked at Patton over his sunglasses. He could hear Logan correcting Patton’s grammar in his head. “Not with the chance of a fire being 100%.”

“Please, Remy? Pretty please with a cherry on top?” Patton flopped onto the couch and rested his chin on Remy’s shoulder. “You can bring Emile,” he added when he saw Remy deadpan. 

“I would have done that anyway, cupcake.” 

“Ooh, Emile would love to bake with us! Maybe he could bring some cookie cutters so we can have more shapes for the cookies and I know that he’d love it for a date-” 

“Alright. You got me, sweetheart, I’ll go.”

Patton grinned and hugged Remy. “Really? Yay! Thank you~ It’ll be so much fun!” 

Remy hummed. “So, what time, love?”

“I’m so glad that they said you could bring me along!” Emile said, his feet still up on the dashboard. “I was always worried that they’d be like ‘tell him to go back to his cartoons’, y’know?” 

“Yeah, that was me when I first met them because Roman dragged me to a play that they performed in.” Remy changed the radio’s channel. The advertisements’ droning got boring after a while. “But Patton loves you. He really likes that he can fanboy with you about cartoons and stuff since the rest of us don’t really watch it as much as you two.”

“You watch cartoon pretty often. We always joke and screech over them together.” Emile smiled fondly. 

“Yeah,” Remy said softly. “We do. It’s awesome.” 

The two of them continued their conversation, Emile forcing Remy to be within the speed limit when he saw a police officer. Emile screamed when Remy hit something after accidentally driving into the apartment complex’s bushes. Remy only tensed up and grabbed Emile to prevent him from flying forward due to the sudden stop. 

The thing that Remy hit turned out to be Remus running into the car. 

“Remind me to never let you drive ever again,” Emile murmured.

Remy properly parked and got out of the car with Emile, snickering when he saw Roman screeching at Remus. 

“YOU IDIOT- oh. Hi!” Roman smiled at Remy and Emile. “Merry Bitchmas!”

“Merry Bitchmas, you bastard. Where’s the bitchletoe?” Remy smirked. “I’ve got my man to kiss in the holiday way, girl.” 

“Gotta make a snowbitch first, Rem.” Roman shrieked when Remus jumped on his back. “Ew, ew, ew! Get it off! EW, NASTY! STOP- STOP LICKING ME!!” 

“And that’s our wonderful cue to leave, babe.” Remy took Emile’s hand and led him to the family’s apartment, ignoring Roman’s cries of “betrayal”. 

Remy didn’t bother knocking, he just opened the door and entered with Emile. He was immediately greeted by Logan and Virgil who were both on the couch in the living room, looking at a puzzle. 

“Greetings. Happy holidays.”

“Hi there, babes.” 

“I am not your boyfriend, please refrain from giving me a nickname for said lover.” 

“I’ll try, sweetheart.” 

Logan only sighed before returning to his book. 

Virgil simply waved when Remy looked at him, giving the man a small smile when he waved back. 

Remy went to the kitchen where Emile and Patton were talking about what cartoons they planned on (re)watching soon. He wrapped his arms around Emile gently. “If I didn’t know either of you, I’d think you’re brothers.”

Patton giggled. “I guess so! But Emile’s more like my kid, kiddo.”

“I swear you’ve adopted everyone that’s here.” 

“Pretty much.” Patton shrugged. He glanced into the living room. “Hey, where are the twins?” 

“Last time Remy and I saw them, Remus was on Roman and licking him.” 

Patton’s nose scrunched up. “I hate when he does that.” 

“I think it’s funny when it’s Roman.” Remy snickered. He was barely bothered when the door slammed open and Roman ran in, locking the door behind him. There was a loud bang and laughter. 

“You summoned them, Pat!” 

Patton set down the bowl he was holding and left the kitchen. He gave Remy a disappointed look as the man ate some cookie dough. Remy gave him an innocent smile. He laughed as Emile took some too when Patton turned back around. 

“So, we’re baking gingersnap cookies?”

“I think we’re making some other kinds,” Remy said. He looked at some other bowls (most were empty) and some papers that had recipes on them. 

Patton and Virgil screamed when Remus flew through the door as soon as Roman hesitantly unlocked it. 

“I thought… you didn’t know how to bake?” Emile said slowly. He turned to face Remy as he pulled away.

“I don’t.” Remy hopped up onto the counter, letting Emile stand between his legs, and wrapped his arms around him again. He rested his chin on Emile’s shoulder, kissing his cheek. 

Emile bit the inside of his cheek, trying not to laugh. This Christmas baking even is going to be a mess.

Two hours later and Emile is proven right. He laughed as Remy lunged to a nearby chair and ducked behind it when the electric mixer was turned on. 

“Remy, you’re not going to die!” Emile wheezed out. He watched as Remy snatched his sunglasses off the floor, still glaring at the electric mixer.

“That thing is from hell!” He wasn’t bothered when Virgil ducked behind him, narrowly avoiding a wooden spoon Roman threw at Remus. 

Remus caught the spoon. “Eden! Come here real quick, I wanna see if this’ll go up your butt!”

Eden immediately ran out the room. He screamed when he saw Remus chasing him. 

“Oh my god-” Thomas went after the two. 

“Have you never seen an electric mixer?” Emile asked. 

“I’ve never _used_ one! There is a difference,” Remy defended. 

Eden ran back into the kitchen, grabbed Logan, and hid behind him. He hissed at Remus who still had the spoon. 

“Remus, do _not_ even approach Eden with the spoon. Though you will not go through with your threat-”

Remus grinned, eyes wild. “I will pin Eden down, strip him, and shove this up his ass in front of all of you.” 

Logan deadpanned at Remus as Thomas ran into the room. 

“Literally all I wanted was to bake with everyone,” Patton sighed. 

“What did you expect with everyone here? Especially _Remus_ ,” Virgil hissed. 

Patton shrugged. “I thought maybe he wouldn’t be like… that for one day.” He side-eyed Remus, his lips pursed.

“Do you _know_ Remus?” Virgil scoffed. 

“... Yes.” 

Remy got up, helping Virgil up too. He went to the electric mixer and turned it off, staying away from the machine at an arm’s length. He gasped when flour was thrown onto his face, unable to see out of his sunglasses. Remy took off the sunglasses and glared at Roman.

“It wasn’t me!” Roman pouted.

“Roman, I can see the flour on your hand.” 

“It wasn’t-” Roman paused when flour was thrown at him. He narrowed his eyes at Remus. “You _bitch_ ,” 

Remus shrugged, grabbing a handful of flour and throwing it at Virgil. The man retaliated by throwing an empty bowl at him. It was only a disappointing surprise when Remus broke it by hitting it against the counter like you would when cracking an egg and started eating it. 

There was only some blood before Thomas was able to get the ceramic out of Remus’ reach. 

Another hour later and there were two batches of burnt cookies, flour on everyone, and batter on everything. 

“I told you the machine was from hell, babe!” Remy shouted over the twin’s screaming as cookie batter flew at them. He dragged Eden away from Virgil when they started hissing at each other because they bumped into each other. “How do you guys all live together? Jesus fucking Christ, this is a nightmare.” 

“That’s a strange way of saying someone is fucking themself!” Remus shouted. He kicked Roman away, wacking him in the face with the spoon.

“Oh my god.” Remy forced Eden to sit on the counter, watching Virgil climb on top of the fridge. 

Patton sipped his hot chocolate. “I should have made coffee for myself,” he muttered. 

Logan silently offered his cup of coffee. Patton took a few sips, thanking Logan as he handed it back to the man. 

“Well,” Emile said. “We should definitely do this next year!” 

Remy snorted. He wrapped an arm over Emile’s shoulders. “We definitely are. Patton never learns the lesson of ‘Christmas baking is a terrible idea with the whole family.’”

As Remus and Roman fell down the stairs, Thomas managing to save the two from being stabbed from Remus’ dagger that was haphazardly on the floor, Patton thought about how he really shouldn’t gather everyone for something like this. 

It always turns dangerous. But it's fun to have the whole family hang out. They would never seriously hurt each other. 

Hopefully.

The microwave timer beeped. Patton turned it off, taking out a batch of cookies that miraculously didn’t burn. He’s only surprised that the apartment complex hasn’t been burned down. 

Patton set the cookies on the counter, slapping Remy’s hand away. “You’ll burn yourself!” 

Remy shrugged, grabbing a cookie and shoving it in his mouth. “Oh shit-”

“What did I say, kiddo?” 

Emile got a glass of water. He watched Remy chug it, whining about how he burned his tongue. 

“Can’t wait to do this again,” Patton said with a smile. 

Logan only looked down into his coffee and quickly drank the rest of it.

**Author's Note:**

> Super sorry I haven't posted anything for a long-ass time, depression is a bitch ://


End file.
